Do you ever get the feeling that something is going to happen to you? Something that is inevitable? Like you know it’s going to happen whether you want it to or not?
There’s this organization in Haiti, and they’re working on building a children’s village for orphans. I heard about it a few years ago, and right away I had a desire to be a part of this. But, I had just started university and travelling wasn’t really an option.
Then, last year I ended up going to Africa. It’s a really strange, long story, but it came up out of nowhere and just happened. I lived on a farm that was kind of same idea of this children’s village, and it was a really incredible experience.
Now I’m back in school. I will finish my degree in December of 2012. I am so excited to be a teacher. I’ve been proactively working towards my career – studying, networking, volunteering, embracing the idea of “professional development.” All of these things that look great on paper and build an attractive resume.
But. Today I was talking someone who is going down to Haiti in February to work with this organization in completing the wall that will surround the children’s village. And, as per usual, I am filled with this overwhelming sense that I will spend some time there. I don’t mean this in a “I’m going to help orphans and I’m so excited!” kind of way, but in a “I think I’ll spend a year or two there after school and make no money or advance my career, but it’s kind of inevitable” kind of way. Not that I don’t want to, but it’s just that I’ve been working really hard to build this attractive resume as a teacher… and maybe I’ll end up somewhere else, doing something else for a season of my life? Something that seems kind of foolish or insignificant by professional standards, but I have this undeniable desire in my heart and I don’t know where it came from or what to do with it.
I titled this post “fate,” but I think it’s kind of a cliche word. I think that people make choices about their lives and the direction that it goes in… But what happens when the direction you’ve chosen and the feelings in your heart are different? Not that I don’t want to be a teacher, I really do… but maybe I want to do this too for a little while?